I think there is a tendency to develop some sort of extra sensory perception to those things in which you are afraid. For some, who as children experienced the blunt force of trauma (death, injury, abuse), they are forever scarred by emotional bruises and physical burns and see these phantoms manifest in various forms throughout their lives. On the other hand, my greatest tangible fear is none-so-great as a human-form monster–not even snakes, or clowns, or the dark. I am petrified of caterpillars. I sense them from far away, munching on leaves, dropping from trees, huddling up in their cocooons, existing just to ruin my life. So as not to be hasty, it is a deep rooted and wholly rational fear (REALLY!) — if caterpillars had messed with you this much, you’d probably be afraid of them too:
1. 1988, Age 6-ish: low hanging tree-branch upon which we often swing threatens to collapse upon driveway. Dad cuts branch of maple tree and thousands of caterpillars live at the base. Put hundreds of caterpillars into large plastic bucket with sticks and leaves, punch holes in top expecting a big bucket of butterflies the next morning. Exciting! Wake up next morning to large bucket of dead caterpillar carcasses.
2. 1990, Age 8: ride bike into caterpillar hanging from invisible thread of tree
3. 1992, Age 10: play kickball in neighbor’s yard and run from third base to home plate, a tree. Slam my hand into the base of the tree, which is infested with caterpillars. Walk away with smooshed caterpillar guts on my hands.
4. 1993, Age 11: wake up from nap on outside deck with caterpillar inches from my face
5. 1994, Age 12: Work on insect collection for 7th grade science project. Put caterpillar in freezer and ice it to death. Go to school extra early the next day, take the caterpillar to science class, and mount and pin it on foam core with latin-name label. (yup, dorky). 3 hours later, return to class only to find the caterpillar has come BACK TO LIFE and is wriggling on pins, mounted to the foam core. Have to extract still-live caterpillar from pins and kill it with rubbing alcohol.
6. 1995 – 2002, Ages 13 – 20: Avoid walking under trees for 7 years.
7. 2003, Age 21: “Friends” force me to walk through butterfly collection at the American Museum of Natural History. I basically start hyperventilating.
8. 2004, Age 22: Go to the Jamaica nature preserve to take photos with Jesse and Jake. Walking down dirt path, see a self-inclosed NEST of caterpillars. Start flailing arms, screaming, proceed to hyperventilate until safely several hundred yards away. Jesse and Jake are completely unawares of the creatures.
9. 2005, Age 22: Grellan invites us over to his Mott Street courtyard to drink beers outside with friends. Shortly after sitting down (with ~10 other people), notice caterpillars crawling all over the the underside of the table, on the outdoor generator, on the trees. Scream, panic, unable to handle situation I have to leave.
And with that, have a nice weekend. xo yp
